March 8, 2006- Farewell to a Ring

Today I lost my Jesus ring. I don't know how it slipped off my finger at work, but it did and rolled under a large and unmovable piece of equipment. I couldn't even see where it went under there. I suppose then technically its not LOST; its more stuck in a place that I can't get to it. But the point is, its not on my finger.

I actually hope that turns out to be prophetic. What I mean by that is this- I bought that ring when I was bitterly disappointed that a relationship I thought was going to lead to marriage didn't. I had been planning that my left hand ring finger would have an entirely different kind of ring on it. When things didn't work out, I felt "my finger is lonely and disappointed", so I bought this ring with crosses and doves on it. It cost, like, ten dollars, and was for a church fundraiser, so it wasn't run-of-the-mill "Jesus junk". And it encouraged me to remember that Jesus loves me and is faithful to me, and that Jesus is the one who meets my needs and will one day, hopefully, bring me a husband. So I wore it on my wedding ring finger.

That was spring 2003. I stopped wearing the ring for a while in 2004 when I started dating somebody. People kept coming up to me and shrieking "Oh my God are you guys engaged?" when we had been dating, like, two weeks. As if I'm going to get engaged to someone I've been dating two weeks. And as it turned out, after two months, the guy dumped me, and I was devastated, and sadly I couldn't bear to put the ring back on again for many months. For a long time it only exacerbated the disappointment and pain and humiliation I couldn't escape anyway. It had now come to symbolize my singleness, my waiting, which I thought was over, and it was entirely too bitter to put that back on again. It was symbolic of a great deal of healing when I was able to put it back on.

The ring eventually came to be a source of comfort again. Just last week I was reminded of a great deal of pain and anger and was really hurting. In the midst of that, God drew my attention to that ring and began to speak to me: "I am your faithful husband. I am your loving father. I am your provider. I am the only One who is always true, I am the only One who will never leave you nor forsake you."

It was so sweet. I then went looking for Scripture verses that speak of God's faithfulness and reliability. Here are two of my favorites:

"The word of the Lord is right and true; He is faithful in all He does. The Lord loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of His unfailing love."
Psalm 33: 4,5

"The Lord is faithful to all His promises and loving to all He has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up those who are bowed down....You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing." Psalm 145: 13,14,16

Its such a comfort to know that in a world of liars, the word of the Lord is true; that though others may be unfaithful, He is unswervingly faithful; that in a world of brokenness and sin He is righteous; that although others may heap up injustice, He is a just God. And not only is He so great, but He is compassionate enough to uphold all those who fall and lift up those who are bowed down.

So anyway, my ring is gone. I feel a little freaky without it, actually, and a little sad. I know that's weird, but that ring has been with me a long time and meant a lot to me in different ways. However, I remember that as I watched it hit the ground and roll into oblivion I had a sense that this was meant to be and not an accident. It also occured to me tonight that the Jesus ring was originally purchased as a reminder that there is comfort and hope in the thought that one day it would no longer be there.

So farewell, dear ring, and may better things than you come my way!